it's new day, maybe a new me?

we had rme today in the chapel as usual, but somehow the chapel seemed like a more special place. everyweek, we get in and then we get out, but i guess i never appreciated how nice it is to be in there. it was nice to simply attempt the shut out all the noise around me and try to focus. i think this is one of my first times really thinking and praying during cathecism in a very long time. somehow or another, i seem to always lapse into dozing off and daydreaming while we are supposed to be reflecting.

i realise that the time when we are fully focused on God is only when we're in trouble and that just... sucks. really. i feel guilty because it seems that u can only pray and focus when i really need help. i guess after reviewing everything i realise that it's just wrong. i guess i've forgotten what my life is all about.

today was the usual, more work, studying, regretting. sometimes i feel angry and dissapointed with myself when i don't do my work because i feel as if i'm letting myself down. i don't know why but yeah, it's just that way.

today we were doing more stuff doing cath and there was this bit when we had to write a list for, dear Jesus, please help me increase my love for.... and we were supposed to write a list of people who cared for us. it's strange when you are listing down all your friends and you have to pause and actually consider who are your real friends. i think that really scared me!

on to nicer things, dance was really really fun today. tomorrow though, is just another scary thought. oh oh, i'm afraid for teacher's day too! for some reason i really can't be bothered to do anything!

my mummy just came into the room to talk and she something like - you have to be motivated, study harder than hard, don't give up.