wow.
i haven't blogged in a while.
i think i'm losing interest.
or maybe i'm lazy.
or maybe i'm just too busy.
can we pretend it the last option?
it makes me sound deeper.

ok.
this whole week has flown by (wheeeeeeee)
ok in a bad way.
in such a bad way, I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT HAS HAPPENED THIS WHOLE WEEK!
this is critical.
dig brain, dig brain.

oh yeah. dance.
pain pain blah blah dissapointment blah blah more pain contemplation inferiority sadness determination more blah blah blah blah.
stayed back practically everyday this week for something or another. i thought mun on wednesday was fun. i made a fool of myself the first time but i guess i discovered that if i keep real real calm and collect my thoughts it actually is fun and productive and understandable!

i think this week was a seriously deep week. i can't remember having so many serious conversations in such a short span of time. it was very intriging to discuss real matters with my friends and simply understand better. ah. i guess there's no way to put it in words, but it was so cool and meaningful. my vocabulary is failing me.

i think i've realised so many new tings this week, it's almost like an epiphany. i still feel rather lost, but somehow, i feel secure at the same time, knowing that i am sorting things in my mind out slowly.

streaming is coming really soon and i huess i agree with mrs wong when she says that we are all slowing down and perhaps, losing the race. it is not a nice thought, but i guess it's just reality. i think i've got a wake up call, to seriously just start studying my hardest and just sprinting and pushing all the way to the end. sometimes, i really feel tired and i don't want to study but now's not the right time for these thoughts. got to be more focusesd, not only on studies but on everything.

sometimes i think that our singaporean society is too competitive and it's driving me mad but what the blah, like i can do anything about it anyway. i know i've really got to prove everyone wrong and do well. or maybe just show myself i can do it. it's exactly the same for dance.
or maybe.... i just want to prove mrs wong and mrs tan wrong. must never ever be complacent.

i think i saw a ghost last night. scary right? i don't really like ghosts a lot.

somehow, something is drawing me back to church. i can't wait to go back next week, and for the first time, it's not for the wrong reasons, but rather to sit in silence, and to find peace within myself.